It seems sad '80s pop was my childhood niche.

Right now, I'm listening to The Cure's Disintegration in it's entirety, for the first time in five years, I think. Which seems longer than it is. I'll always think of this album as being huge, because it was such an integral part of my musical education. I first heard it when I was nine, I think, and my big sister, then sixteen and going through an angst teenage goff phase, burned me a copy to play on my Sony Walkman. It was one of the only albums I owned, so I would just play it again and again and again, until I knew every song inside out, even the ones I didn't like that much at first(Lullaby and Fascination Street). And listening to it for the first time, on my headphones, it was huge. And Plainsong was just such an explosive, euphoric, romantic opening to me, then. I still love it now.

Listening to it again, I can't be objective about it, because there's too much nostalgia involved. The songs I loved, I still love now. The first three tracks are still saccharine and dreamy and heart-wrenching, which is what drew me in in the first place. But I couldn't see myself listening to it on a daily basis like I used to. Maybe that's because I'm treating it with the kind of condescening feeling (not quite embarassment, but close) people tend to treat things they used to love and have moved on from with. I don't know, but for whatever reason, it doesn't bowl me over anymore. It holds up- it's a great album- but it just doesn't resonate with me as much as it used to.

Anyway, it's still a nice throwback to childhood and it's comforting and it's a nice way to cap off a week where I've sat eight exams (which is more exhausting than it sounds).

On a related note, this morning I was listening to one of the other first CDs I owned (I've been on a nostalgia kick), which was the first CD I ever went into a record shop and bought; a collection of the Smiths' singles. While Disintegration was an album for long journeys, I would rotate the Smiths whilst playing Mario Party Four on my brother's gamecube for hours on end. Listening to that again was a similar thing. Difference is, Disintegration reminds me of some tragic, romantic, frankly embarassing ideology I had as a child, and The Smiths' singles reminds me of psyching myself up for frustrating mini-games like Trace Race. Which was the worst, because the crayon just did what it wanted, no matter how carfeul you were.

Disintegration's finishing up now. I forgot how sweet the closer is.